It's a luxury. An exercise of the mind, body, and spirit. A daily challenge. A guilt complex. A joy. Fulfillment. Real, unadulterated happiness.
Being there when she discovers butterflies, fine art, and recycling. Being there when she shoves a friend and lies about it. Being there when she writes her own name at the age of three and tells me she wants to learn to write mommy's and daddy's names, too. Being there when she teaches the other girls in her dance class how to bunny hop.
Being there when she picks her boogers and eats them. (Blech!)
Being THERE.
It is also frightening and worrisome. I worry that she'll miss out on opportunities I can't provide. I worry that I'm being selfish; that I'm putting my desires ahead of the economic stability of my family and home.
I am proud to be a part of a movement that really doesn't have a name, yet. A movement of educated women who choose to stay at home with their children when they could be working and bringing home a paycheck. I'm confident that I made the right decision for my family.
The purpose of the women's rights movement, as I see it, was to gain equality. To be allowed the freedom to choose. To be free.
Just as I do not believe that women are inferior to men by nature, nor do I believe that they are their natural superiors either. Simone de Beauvoir, 1976
When one enslaves a woman, one also enslaves a man. I cannot recall who said this or to whom this quote is attributed to, I have made it my own. I believe it in my core.
True equality means that my daughter will have the chance to be or do anything she puts her mind to.
Being a SAHM means that I have the opportunity to show her all the possibilities of her life and allow her to explore them. I can encourage her, support her, guide and love her through her triumphs and her failures, big and small.
I can do the same myself. Perhaps, one day, I can do the same for a son should he ever choose to be mine.
I can be THERE.
Hi friend! It's been a while since we've seen each other at a play date, it's nice to see another side of you. I am a writer by heart, by expensive degree, and unfortunately now. . .not often enough. Thanks for putting it out there in such precious and powerful words. I have been thinking these same thoughts this week as I cut my work to part-part-time (is there such a thing?) and have felt this odd juxtaposition of being able to "love every minute" of their precious childhood and also wonder if Gloria Steinem and the whole WL movement just really screwed us into trying to become "Superwomen" who work, cook, clean, raise children, run errands, etc = do it all. I seem to always feel as though I should be doing something else. I want to be able to concentrate on the sweet little moments at hand that my younguns are enraptured by for whatever reason at all. . .
ReplyDeleteThank you for having the ovaries to put it all out there --- powerful words Mamma!
~Kristin
Kristin,
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts exactly! I got to a point where I felt I needed to hire a nanny, housemaid, and robot just to manage daily life while I was working. It's simply not possible to be and do for everyone else and still stay sane. We have to focus on priorities. If it's your work, then go full force if that works for you. Having the choice is all I ask. Most people don't like being told what they can't do: male or female. As you said, though, I do have to remind myself every day to just be present for those moments. There's always something to do. It'll still be there after the magic moments are over.
Thank you so much for your thoughtful response!