How NOT to Achieve Work-Life Balance

Let's talk about work-life balance. I am the person who knows the dictionary definition of work-life balance, who has taken professional development classes about it, read books about it, and tried to incorporate all the tricks into her daily life to achieve a perfectly harmonious existence.

When I worked for pay, I took my work home with me. I didn't know how not to.

• As an English teacher, I took home papers and journals to grade while I sat in front of the TV.
• When I worked as a marketing assistant, I went in to the office on Saturday mornings to complete reports. Reports! 
• As a public speaker, I spent hours in bed thinking about what I was going to say the next day. I couldn't even escape these thoughts in sleep because I dreamt about how it would all play out.

Now, I'm a stay-at-home mom. My life is my work. My work is my life. Right?

Work-Life Balance? Unfortunately, I cannot offer you a solution to this problem, but I can tell you what not to do.

DO NOT take coffee breaks, smoke breaks, potty breaks, or lunch breaks. If you do take a "break," be sure to take your work with you so you can continue to research whatever topic you were working on when you got up from your desk, table, chair, exercise ball, or whatever.

Sitting on the toilet? Use your phone or tablet to research new activities, discussion topics, breaking news, etc. Send emails from your laptop or mobile device.

Drinking coffee? It only takes one hand! Use the other to run a report, type an email, read an article, build something useful, etc.

Eating? Eat at your desk! Eat in your car! Eat while walking, talking, running, driving, etc. If you're sitting at a table, schedule a working meeting and order sandwiches! For crying out loud, DO NOT waste precious seconds when you could be doing something!


DO NOT take sick days. If you are ill and can still stand up, go to work. Your coworkers will not mind if you're spreading germs as long as you use tissues, signal that you don't want to talk with a cough, and spray your area with Lysol periodically.

If you are too sick to stand, but can sit upright, carpool. If necessary, stay home, but continue to work remotely. If you are too sick to stand or sit, continue to answer emails while lying in bed for as long as you are conscious.

DO NOT send your coworkers or employees emails during business hours. If a response is needed immediately, and, if they are in yelling distance, then yell. Otherwise, wait as late as you can in the evening (bonus points if it's after midnight) to send your email, and be sure to cc your boss. This will ensure that everyone knows how dedicated you are and may also improve your chances of being promoted, so you can do more work.


DO NOT succumb to chit chat unless the conversation pertains to your work in some way. Relevant discussion topics include: Your boss, your coworkers, your working conditions, news stories that relate to your work, stuff you have in common that might be beneficial to your work, the person you met at a networking event that might help you do your work better, the idea you had while laying in bed trying to sleep last night, etc.

DO NOT waste time on recreation. If you like social media, join groups that support and/or discuss your line of work. Pin pictures, links, ideas, etc. that relate to your job. Friend people on Facebook that you met at work. Add your coworkers and colleagues to your circle. Most importantly, always, always, ALWAYS, link back to your company's website and provide your email contact information.

If you get an hour of alone time in the evening, read a book/article/story/blog that can potentially increase your knowledge of your field. Better yet, blog about your work and get your friends to read it. Be sure your blog links back to your company's website.

If you are mingling at a party, be sure to say, "So, what do you do?" Immediately follow this with a discussion of how your jobs relate. If they do not relate, hand them your business card and MOVE ON!

I hope that these tips help you as much as they have helped me in my career(s). For further terrible career advice, email me, friend me on Facebook, follow me on Pinterest, connect with me on LinkedIn, etc.