A Mother's Memories to Her Child: My Siblings

My Brother and Sister
Robert Edward Ambuehl, Nov. 6, 1971
Jean Elizabeth Ambuehl, Aug. 17, 1980

The Things We Did Together
Robert: As a kid, I don't remember much, but I am told we were very close. It's because of him that I built a strong vocabulary (He's 7 years older than me). He tried to help me eat green beans, which I hated and still do to this day. With his help, I ate seven! I remember that, once he started working, he bought Jean and me the Christmas presents my parents could not afford to buy us. In particular, I remember Barbie and the Rockers' backyard pool party set complete with pool, BBQ grill, and floaties.

As a teenager, he pulled away a lot. He got into arguments with my mom, so our family became separated into female vs. male. On family trips, he slept a lot. He was no longer required to go to church with us. I walked in on him once while he was peeing and another time while he was watching porn with his friends. He was pretty mad at me. I remember when he carved a heart "tattoo" on his arm.

I have only seen my brother cry on two occasions. Both were related to girls. 

I didn't spend much time with him till I became a teenager. Then, he took me drag racing, gave me beer, took me to my favorite clubs, gave me advice on which boys to date. His girlfriend bought me my first Bjork album. When he became a cop, and I got my first ticket, he taught me a good lesson. He did not bail me out of the ticket. He wanted me to learn to be responsible. But, he did talk to the officer and reprimand him for treating me unkindly.

As a young adult, he gave me lots of unwanted advice and sermonized on his Conservative political views. 

My most vivid discussion with him was when he was fresh out of the Academy, he came home one day and no one else was home but me. I was in the kitchen. He sat down and started talking. I immediately shut up and listened. He told me about a motorcyclist who was hit by a car. He had not been wearing a helmet. I think that was the first time my brother saw a dead stranger on the job. He had had a couple friends die from drag racing, which I'm sure affected him powerfully, but this was something different. As a cop, I am sure he felt some level of responsibility and fear.

Proud uncle and aunt

I held my brother's firstborn son in my arms the day Zach was born. I had never to that date ever held a baby. It was very moving. I also held his daughter Ana the day she was born. She was the second baby I have ever held.

Proud cousins

When I got married, we had a falling out and didn't speak for several years...Not until I was pregnant with Maya. I wrote him many letters in those years, though I only sent one in the very beginning of the argument. When we finally reconnected, we bonded as adult siblings in the parenthood stage of life. His whole family visited me in the hospital, and every single one of them held Maya in their arms.

Jean: Being two years apart, we shared a room until we hit the teen years, and I "moved out." We fought a lot, but we also went on all sorts of adventures - mostly imaginary ones. We built forts and ships and houses in our bedroom. We turned the fan on high to simulate a storm. We got married to our stuffed animals and started families. I convinced her to cut the hair off of her favorite doll. She tossed all the toys I'd organized in our closet back out on the floor of our room. 

When we fought, momma made us kneel in separate corners until we were willing to say we were sorry. I dropped her on her head once. She had a strawberry marking on her forehead. I convinced her to sell her favorite Barbie doll at one of our impromptu garage sales. When we shared a full sized bed, we built a wall of dolls between us because she wiggled so much I couldn't sleep. When we had bunk beds, I got the top bunk because I was older. She stole my Barbies and shared them with her friends. 

Sister of the most beautiful bride

When we were teenagers, we started to move on different paths and into different circles, but we'd come together once in a while. Once, she threatened to kill me in my sleep because she was angry with me over something mean I said. I retaliated a lot to her because she called me "Stupid," and that is the one insult that really hurt my feelings.

My dear family at Jean's wedding

We don't talk much now, but I was her one and only bridesmaid at her wedding. It was beautiful and exciting to see her get married. Now she's moved further away and is starting a business. I wish her great success. We are so completely different, but she is and always will be my baby sister. Sometimes, when I look at Maya, I see my sister in her face. I feel that instinctive need to protect her.

Our Greatest Adventure Growing Up
We had many real life adventures. Mostly, our twice annual trips to Florida. We had a wonderful trip to San Francisco. A not so wonderful trip to Phoenix. Plenty of road trips. We went with Robert on almost all of his Boy Scout camping trips, which was pretty neat. Young girls, older boys....Lots of eye candy and fodder for the imagination. ;-)

I'll Always Remember
My brother's wedding
My sister's wedding
Ana's christening

As a child, my favorite family tradition was
Family holiday dinners complete with turkey, Grandma's Creole dressing, frozen fruit salad, sweet potato souffle, and candy, candy, candy. Playing cards and watching movies. Listening to "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer."